bershooting the bums.

This past weekend was Bumbershoot. Honestly, it was the best one I've been to in AGES. The musical lineup on Saturday was terrible, so Ahe and I went for all the literary/comedy functions. First up was Lemony Snicket (aka Daniel Handler), who I was very hesitant about. I mean, the guy's a children's author! Oh, how wrong I was. I swear every single joke he made and story he told was for the benefit of people in the audience over the age of 16. It was amazing, we laughed the entire time and Ahe fell in love a little bit more than she already was. Then, we went to a comedy showcase with Jackie Kashain, Howard Kremer, and Demetri Martin. Without getting too much into it, here are the three funniest comments, all taken strictly out of context so no one will get how funny they are, except Ahe and I, but we've been laughing about them privately for 4 days straight so there's no need to stop now:

• Jackie Kashain: It's kinda hard to orgasm when you're poised to flee!
• Howard Kremer: You won't sass me like that when I can summon wolves.
• Demetri Martin: Mary is infatuated with cock. See other arm.

Hilarity and comic hijinks all around. The end of the evening was Smart!, a benefit for 826 Seattle, featuring everybody's favorite band, Death Cab for Cutie. I'm certainly not a fan of Seth Cohen-esque proportions, but they did this cover of "Hungry Like a Wolf," along with M. Doughty and the aforementioned Daniel Handler that was simply. Amazing. My infatuation with Dave Eggers lessened a bit once I heard him speak in public. But still, I got to see him SPEAK IN PUBLIC.

And then Monday was The Decemberists show, during which Ahe and I publicly salivated over Colin Meloy's nerdy genius and she and Ben played a fun game of "Who in the Band is that Guy?" Chris Funk, ever the entertainer, was dubbed Everybody's Drunk Uncle. Probably the best handle. Ben also somehow got the idea to drape a banana peel through Arturo's wallet chain, which he didn't notice for a good half hour. Sitcom shenanigans. The band also played "The Tain," an 18-minute epic which has since cemented itself in my cd player at home. (Thank you, Will.) Afterward, we briefly hit up Flatstock (The Small Stakes were my favorite) and then went on a drawn-out jaunt in search of beer and tater tots. Then, back to the event in hopes of catching a reprise of the comedy show from Saturday, but since my friends were much too enamoured of themselves and Miller Light, we missed out on a spot in line. So back to The Hill we went, to go home. If by home you mean the Cha Cha for one more beer and a shot.

In other news, I also slept through two movies this weekend. In the theater. The phenomenon may or may not have been directly related to the consumption of alcoholic beverages beforehand, both times. The not smoking has been going AWESOME. I'm on day 7 as we speak. Now I need to focus that willpower on the boozing.